BDSM For Beginners

Most of the people in this world want to live as an open-minded people but we always inside that little box of thinking when it is about sex. Though there is nothing wrong with sex, most of the times we suppress our feelings to the greatest extent. If we take a look back at the 19th century, it was very common back then to have sex with full clothes. People had special holes in their clothes for sex. If anyone explored beyond the missionary position, it was considered to be a taboo, even it was anal or oral sex. But now in the 21st century having an oral or any other is just like having an everyday vanilla shake. And the rough sex, fetishes or kinky ones are the convention breakers.

Some people often fantasise about bringing some extra flavour to your sex life like the BDSM. But such people are often confused about where to start and from whom should they. This article is a total beginner’s guide to BDSM.

About BDSM

According to the renowned BDSM mistress Madame Carmel, BDSM can be anything depending on who you are. BDSM stands for bondage and discipline (B&D), sadism and masochism (S&M) and dominance and submission (D&S). For Carmel being a wife, she is not able to see what her relationship would be without BDSM. The couple loves to enjoy the mixture as she is dominant and her husband is submissive.

Bondage & Discipline

This element of BDSM is considered as the sexual act where the submissive partner is restrained and trained continuously. Many of these bondage and discipline acts are performed in everyday sex life but on a lower scale. It is like holding the hands of your partner or covering their eyes. To restrain the submissive partner, one can use a lot of things. It can be shibari, handcuffs, ropes, etc. Whereas, the discipline tries to focus on the modification of the submissive’s behaviour. The partner tries to correct the behaviour by punishing the submissive. It can be physical ones like spanking or sometimes erotic humiliation.

 

Dominant And Submissive

In any kind of BDSM relationship, there is dominant and submissive always. The dominant has to dominate over the behaviour of the submissive. If the dominant is a male then he is called Dom and if female then they are called Dommes. The submissive in the relationship is the partner that has no control at all. The male and the female submissives are called subs.

Sadism And masochism

This is the area in the BDSM relationship which most of the people fail to define. However, in simple words, it can be said as receiving or giving pain. The masochist gets the pleasure by being penetrated with pain whereas for the sadist the administration of the pain produces pleasure. The only difference between all the three terms is that the former is about the inflicts and the latter is about control.

How Can You Introduce BDSM Into Your Relationship?

Most of the times, the couples have a chat about BDSM and they come on the same page but they don’t get the start. According to experts being kinky doesn’t mean that you have to put on all those sexy outfits, scary hitting implements, dungeons or humiliation. Just look around all the things in your house or try to assess all your sexual habits. Even though you will think that you are not kinky, you will experience that you are having the bits of BDSM in your room and make better use of the useful things in your room. You can use sex toys with each other, indulge in a role play or scratch your partner during sex. If you think of experimenting with something new then you can use the things that are lying around your house. You can use the back brush as a spanker or rope to tie up your partner.

Top Tips For The Beginners

Here are some top tips of the experts that will help the beginners to bring BDSM in their relationship

  • Consent: Consent is the most important thing in any part of a relationship whether it is an ordinary sex or BDSM. It is always important that everything is happening at your partner’s consent. This will help you to stop at any point.
  • Safe Words: Since it is BDSM, so, it will include you to shout “no” whereas you are enjoying the act actually. It will be better if you use a safe word for the real no as this will help you stop the activity immediately.
  • Blindfolds: You can blindfold your partner switching between kisses after a hot tea or teasing their body with ice cubes.
  • Talk: You don’t have to rush to the act directly. Calm yourself and enjoy the dirty talks. When you start to play, you have to communicate with your partner. When you are done then also you have to talk to them and know if anything could be changed.

It was all about the BDSM for beginners. It is really fun to have a BDSM relationship as you get to experiment a lot. However, for the beginners, they should be a little careful about the rules.